137.)
There’s a hole in my heart that I can’t fill. Everytime I think of you it aches like a brand new wound. It throbs and it squeezes tight as an iron fist. I miss you, like hell and I hate you, like hell. Baby…no, I have no right to call you that. So, I’ll just call you, you. You have no idea how much I think about you, no idea how much I just want it to be okay between us. I was selfish and stupid and drunk. I wish I could take it back, wish I hadn’t said anything and wish those tears honestly hadn’t come. I ruin everything. Like self-destruction, I ripped apart my own damn heart. All I have left of you is a goodbye hug you gave me, the first and only hug I’ll ever get from you. I kept that feeling, the warmth, the closeness, that moment…it’ll be in my heart forever. I can’t close my eyes without seeing your smile, can’t close my eyes, can’t sleep, can’t daydream because it’s all about you, every damn thing, it all leads back to your stupid face. I hate you so much because you don’t feel the same way. I hate you for leaving and I hate you for not answering me. We ruined everything we had between us. I love you, honestly, truthfully, whole heartedly. I love you and that’s all I have left to say.
